Passing of the White Fang
by Xeno Gotenks
Summary: The missing tale in canon that forever transformed the entire lore. Discover the haunting final hour of Konoha's White Fang that made the future Six Hokage become the man he is today.


Alternative Title: **Dead Men can Dream, right?**

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters involved besides my very own OC's. Everything else rightfully belongs to Kishimoto.

* * *

**Note:** Just for fair warning, this story is split into two perspectives. First section is first person with Sakumo, with the rest being third person with Kakashi.

**Note (2):** Underneath any circumstances I don't support suicide. This story was hard to write since it delves deeply into a psyche of a damaged man. This story is made for entertainment purposes, but please don't become inspired by the depressive content inside to end your own life. That is not my original intent reader. And yes, parental advisory is advised if you wish to go on if 17 or younger.

* * *

_The will of fire has_

_Been extinguished in darkness_

_Leaving my fate sealed_

* * *

_Sakumo House (Konohagakure, Hatake District, 12:00 PM)_

Have you ever asked yourself what is the purpose of life? I do. Since I was a young kid I have been asking this. And it seems like I can just never find a satisfactory answer for this simple question. It like the most complicated thing in the world. I have been told lies, half-truths, and speculative theories on why we human beings exist. Some claim that we are just the result of selective breeding by mother nature. Others claim we are a freak accident in some corner of the macrocosm. And few claim God, a supreme being that oversees all.

But at this moment, I will stop asking.

And that is because the reason life exists is to support death. It is the great relief from all tumultuous agonies. It should be celebrated, not feared. A lesson I am just beginning to grasp hold of. We are born to die because we are mortals, not gods. No jutsu, knowledge, or preconceived plan can defeat this impossible fate. It is time I embrace it and accept who I really am.

A simple man.

Today is my birthday. A day anybody would celebrate since it marks a year one has existed in this world. Perfect occasion to party, laugh, sing, dance, and eat good food. Arguably an individual's most favorite holiday throughout the year.

But outside, it is raining. Thundering with unholy illuminations seeping past the open window folds. I am marooned between four walls and a roof.

However that is fine. I am accustomed to these conditions.

And for today, I am by myself with candles being lit in a dark dining room. A sanctuary more reserved for dark minded individuals.

But I am not pure either. At least, not anymore.

* * *

It appears that all forms of animation outside becomes bleak with gray, cascading across Konoha in unbreakable winds and lightning. It is fitting. September third rarely gets this type of weather, so having it now is just destiny. I wouldn't have it in any other way.

Kakashi, my son, will be coming back from the academy in an hour. Your my pride and joy. You mean the world to me. I would sacrifice everything to make sure you are safe a thousand times over.

But I am afraid that at my current rate, I will ultimately drag you down. I know my upcoming action will make you hate me, but it is something that I must do. I have been thinking about this for months on end. There is no escape from this.

I am a disgrace.

I thought I did the right thing. I saved my brothers in arms lives during the Second Great Shinobi War. But I obviously prioritized my own feelings over the interest of the village. We lost considerable resources, all thanks to me. Everyone who once liked or looked up to me now hates my guts.

Even those that I once saved.

I brought great shame to not only to the Hatake Clan, but also to Konohagakure. The media reception was so bad that Lord Third was forced to dishonorably discharge me from the specialized armed forces.

I lost my pension checks.

I'm now unemployed. I haven't worked in months. Forced to rot in the corridors of my own home. Cabin fever is a Hell in its own right. But after living in this prison for so long, I now became a creature of the night. I resent the sun at times. In fact, I haven't went out in two weeks. At least when it is daylight. I am disgusted by it, because it is disgusted by me.

Sadly all my peers, subjects, and colleagues wish death onto me. To this day I still get death threats for failing this country. Nobody comes and sees me. And you know what? I will grant them that wish. What the point of soaking in oxygen anymore? To eat, sleep, cry, train, socialize, or even take another step? It all meaningless. My purpose and existence are useless. I am a disease and must perish for it.

This is it.

My home doctor has given up on me. The pressure and prying eyes have become too great for him. This extends to all business doctors and nurses that specializes in counseling. I cannot blame him. Who wants to treat a sad sap of lard like me? The stigma is not worth it.

Diagnosed with 'PTSD' and being clinically melancholic depressed, all the medication in the world cannot seem to defeat my inner demons. In fact, they seem to get stronger each passing night. After a few in-home tests, my testosterone, serotonin, melatonin, and dopamine levels have decreased. And with my newfound increasing dependency for alcohol, I cannot even 'get it up' anymore, so there is definitely some truth with these tests.

Shoot, I am drinking vodka as we speak in this dark dining room.

Due to the depression, I have developed some sort of anhedonia. Everything I once loved to do has lost all weight. I am a outdoors man. I loved to explore and train my body. But it simply brings me no more pleasure. And since I am always inside, my skin has grown much paler. I am even starting to grow welts and red sore from lack of sunlight and adequate exercise.

Too bad I just don't care.

I also taken up smoking. I smoke a whole 12 pack a day. Tobacco is my best friend. I wouldn't know what to do with myself without it. 'She' is always there for me when I need her. Probably why I have developed this wheezing cough. But I can bear it. Another puff is a good enough reason to die for. It calms me down.

Because I have severe anxiety. Paranoid about the smallest of things. The stress becomes unbearable at times, finding myself marching back and forth military style. Will a former enemy find me and take his revenge? Will Kakashi get sick? Will Lord Third exonerate my mistakes only to stab me in the back when my guard is down? A never ending cycle of self defeating and beyond my control thoughts.

Hell lives in my head.

However despite these issues, I do not cut myself. A small bit of dignity remains. But it just that, _small_. In the last weeks I basically stopped bathing, allowing my hygiene health to plummet. I am usually in bed, rarely finding the strength to get up. Grooming is impossible, and I barely recognize myself anymore. Enlarged nails, full beard, and scruffy and uncombed hair. What a joke I became.

Yet the worse is likely my memory being compromised. I only remember the bad things in my life. The exception is Kakashi, but they are few and far in-between compared to everything else. A lesser extent is my wife, but most are all blurs. I don't even remember what she smells or feels like. I can only remember her face when I look at her pictures. Nothing else.

Pathetic.

I have hallucinations of me failing the mission again and again. And each visionary replay of that incident becomes more sinister, sometimes ending in my own death.

If I am in a genjutsu, this is the epitome of power since I am broken from it. I can go no further.

Yet, this is reality. It cannot be dispelled. Knowledge I wished to never have.

Ignorance is bliss. If only I knew _just_ this instead. Then perhaps optimism may still live in me.

* * *

Sleep is impossible, always haunted by nightmares of the entire village lynching me for my mistakes. Or killing Kakashi before me as penance. This is probably the worst of my plights. Seeing all your comrades faces looking at you with contempt before they drop the guillotine on you and your spawns head. It never gets any easier. And each dream becomes a bit more twisted and demonic. I developed insomnia just for this purpose.

And due to my chronic insomnia, I am always fatigued. Just the littlest of actions stresses and commissions me out. But constantly fighting off the sleep yet living in my bed caused me to develop back problems. I have a slight hunch when I walk and need a cane when moving about. I stand strong when Kakashi around, but it taxes me beyond imagination. I am a shell of my former self, and sadly, the butterfly died when it left me.

I have no future.

Kakashi, I know he can see it. Most of my muscle mass has vanished, and I am constantly losing weight. My appetite is just gone. Just keeping food down is a chore since eventually I just puke it back up. Medication sometimes works, but I believe that my damaged mind compromises my bodies most basic functions. It is a horrible reality to endure daily. Sometimes I can't even walk at how malnourished I have become. Kakashi is highly mature for his age, so it should be obvious how badly I am decomposing. It possible his childish innocence and love for me may be blinding him but seeing others in real life looking down on me is not lost. Anywhere I go, I am scorned. Lambasted with my honors revoked or ignored.

My legacy is dead.

I cannot help but think about my original family. I had no siblings, so I was a only child. My dad was a heavy alcoholic and loved to gamble. His addiction put so much burden on us from the heavy debt to underground loan sharks. I worked on top of school to help combat against it. I had little fun as a kid. Father often abused me and my mother during his drunken rampages. Probably why subconsciously I refuse to lay a finger on Kakashi. Eventually my dad ended up in prison, and died there after contracting pancreatic cancer. He tried to reach out to me, but I ignored him to focus on my growing career. I know it killed him in the inside, and looking back, I should have forgiven him. But I was so bitter towards him that I convinced myself that I didn't have the time. My mother died alone when I was on a long term mission, and missed her funeral. These factors contributed to me being highly skilled in assassination missions.

For so long I had no love in my heart.

I only feel alive when my son is near me, yet it quickly passes when he leaves. And it can only be enjoyed at home. At public, I am always attacked or have nasty eyes glaring at me. It too much to bear anymore. I wish my wife was still here. I can see her in him, and it always makes me smile. She was one of the best things to ever happen to me in life. Always supporting and cheering me on. Her death to sickness from post-birth was something I never really recovered from. I cried silently at night for many moons, wishing to hold her again. Yet, the dead can never return.

But I will be seeing her soon. This is going to be my final hour on Earth. Nobody isn't going to stop me. I put up trust funds with the bank to leave everything behind to Kakashi. He will have enough money to make him live quite comfortable for most of his life. I just hope he understands. The will of me, his failure of a father.

* * *

Ten minutes have passed. The lightning has intensified, making the windows shake from each thunderous roar. Legend has it that the Hatake clan, originally simple farmers in the Land of Fire, became enthralled with the phenomenon of lightning and inspired us to learn ninjutsu. That why my clan specializes in lightning style.

A tale I believe is true.

If God exists, he is watching up above and is creating this dazzling display to welcome my impending doom.

I don't blame him. The almighty is preparing my room in some forsaken dark corner. Might as well make this final hour grand and spectacular underneath these gray colors. The vast cosmos cannot waste room on a small insect such as myself. Reason why the sun and stars are not visible to bathe me in light.

My tanto, a prized and formidable blade is laying in my right hand. This blade was created by my great-grandfather and used it as a simple defensive weapon while tending livestock. My father gave it to me once the First Great Shinobi War ended. But I became the first in my lineage to use it for actual combat. And I found a way to combine my chakra with it, forever christening it the 'White Light Chakra Blade'.

And dubbing me, 'Konoha's White Fang', a moniker given by the leader of the Inuzuka Clan.

I loved this name and blade. It an extension of myself and I used it whenever I could. It brought me great revere, clout, and fear throughout the shinobi world. Mandatory evacuation was made whenever I appeared on the battlefield, and many saw me being bigger than the entire Sannin put together.

An accomplishment on its own right.

I defeated various clans across the continent. I cannot name them all, but Iga, Koga, Shiga, Imagawa, and Ashikaga are just a few. Few ninja can claim to have done this. And because of my combat merits, I had prodigy Hyuga, Aburame, Shimura, Sarutobi, and Uchiha members looking up to me for guidance. It was amazing to behold. I became so famous that high profiled interviews and newspaper journals were made in my honor and easily seen as the top ten strongest ninja in the entire village.

Perhaps even strong enough to defeat Amegakure's Hanzo or become a future Hokage. Imagine that?

Maybe in a different life…

* * *

Another ten minutes have passed. I thought about hanging myself with a simple bed sheet. Simply suffocate and feel the burn of my own throat closing. Prevent myself from devouring this precious oxygen from the villagers of Konoha.

But then I backed down from it. Too crude.

Ideas of poison, self-inflicted cremation, electrocution, or even drowning entered my consciousness. Hell, I even imagined jumping off a cliff, being eaten by animals, or allowing enemy ninja to decapitate me. But I turned each one down for one reason or another. They were just not fitting enough for this moment.

But then it hit me. A thought born simultaneously when new thunder passed.

Seppuku. The art of self-disembowelment. This is how I will take my own life. I already have the best tanto for the job. It was designed for cutting. This is how it will be done. The ancients employed this tactic before and during the near thousand-year warring states. The ultimate repentance for humiliation on one's family. And me, no longer in my prime or hardly even considered a warrior anymore, will do just this. My blood will be devoured by the Earth, and my bones scattered and buried. A fitting end if I say so myself.

I recall the Koga clan believing in something called Valhalla. A warriors Heaven that lies beyond the seven stars. Am I still eligible for it? If so, my spirit has much to look forward to.

* * *

Kakashi will get out of school in thirty minutes. I ordered him this morning to go to some friend's house for several hours. I made up the excuse that I was having important company. But this was all a ruse to cover up my upcoming suicide. Once I die, a piece of mail will reach an officer's desk, divulging my death by my own hands. This is to prevent Kakashi from seeing my corpse and let the officials know that I didn't die by a more morbid fashion from a home invader. I now have faith in this plan.

Basically, that is my suicide note.

Studying the tanto that has taken hundreds of shinobi lives, I poured chakra into it and swung once. A fine streak of light was emitted, creating an arc that captures the eyes. It was beautiful. Elegance one with lethality. But this wasn't its only ability. No, I mastered an art that I have rarely shown in battle. Few, if any, are aware of it.

My original jutsu, Lightning Style: White Lightning.

Bleeding the blade with whitish-blue electricity, it crackled with great power despite my pitiful state. I wouldn't even consider myself chunin level, but at least I had enough power for this. It looked like a blade only the mightiest would wield. The secrets to it will sadly forever be lost to Kakashi, but it might be for the best. It might deter him from seeking combat in the front lines, and hopefully find peace in this world. Perhaps one day form a family and become a father himself. No need to fight in wars like his failure of a dad.

Tears? Why are they pouring out of my eyes? The moment of penance was approaching, so weakness and regret is not tolerable. It will just delay the inevitable. I must eradicate this nonsense right away or fail in my final mission as a man. But the image of me being an old man as Kakashi is married with a son of his own was breathtaking. It looked and felt like Heaven.

But this world was not Heaven. It just a fantasy born from my self-preservation side. I must defeat it, or risk losing my only chance of escape.

I must…

* * *

Ten more minutes until Kakashi gets out. This is it. It is time to perform my final deed. At last, I have managed to find peace in this act many considered immoral or sinful.

For myself, Kakashi, clan, God, and country.

Despite the storm outside, my heart is calm and collected. This is the most relaxed I have felt in a long time. Soon, all my troubles will be over. The flames of Samsara will not consume me in its grasps no more. The reincarnation of pain ends today.

Directing the White Lightning coated tanto to my stomach, I made a silent prayer. I wished for this world to find solace in my demise and nourish Kakashi with my spilled blood. I asked for forgiveness, and unity with my deceased wife. It was time I became one with the dead.

Because I am already dead inside.

The room became eclipsed in lightning's unholy veil as I pulled.

Plunging the blade in my body, the lightning immediately paralyzed most of my core functions. It was hard to move, and most of my organs were immediately failing.

It hurt like fucking Hell.

Part of me wished to stop and ceased this nonsense. But I fought through my sense of self preservation, allowing blood to color my white teeth. Tongue assaulted with the taste of iron, with one mighty yank I cut open my stomach entirely.

I heard a single boom of thunder, and I fell on my knees. A sense of bells rang in my ears, and everything was spiraling around me.

Then it all went silent.

Vision going in and out as colors became dull, the floor under and before me was a reddish gray. Soon even that lost all forms of definition as breathing stopped entirely. Everything went white and couldn't feel anything.

Then it was black.

Believing I was falling, a billion thoughts raced through my mind. I saw my birth, childhood, adolescence, early adulthood, war times, death, and even the future. It was painfully obvious what my choices will now have on the shinobi world. It was too late to stop it. There was no turning back. This is the price to pay for unwanted premonition. It was over.

The village will be destroyed, and my son will perish against this man cloaked in red clouds.

And then…

* * *

_Konoha Academy Entrance_

"Are you sure you don't want to come over Kakashi? My folks said it is cool." Said Genma Shiranui, accompanied with Ebisu, Raido Namiashi, Might Guy, and several other academy friends. It was Friday, and they were planning a massive sleepover at his place. It would be a blast.

Kakashi shrugged his shoulders.

"Ehh, maybe next time. Besides it still storming badly. We couldn't really play outside."

"Ahh, stop being such a stick in the mud Kakashi. Hang out with ya boys." Said Might Guy, leaning an elbow on his shoulder. Kakashi simply closed his eyes, swiped his elbow off, and made a "hmph" noise, finding this guy to be a pain. He failed the entrance exam yet was able to still participate in the curriculum. Kakashi had a very low opinion about him. He wasn't worth his time.

"It all good Kakashi. We got games, food, and much more to do. I guarantee it will be a blast." Said Genma joyfully, making all the boys cheer. Tonight was their night, and nothing will stop them from achieving just that.

**Boom!**

Hearing a mighty thunder bang, all the kid's hair went on ends as a formidable lightning bolt danced before their eyes. But to Kakashi, a strange sense of premonition coursed through him. It didn't feel good. He unconsciously balled up his fists.

"I'll see you guys tomorrow." Said Kakashi, taking out an umbrella and stepping out from the school's entrance canopy. Hearing the rain pelt against his parasol, his scarf's tail was blowing hard to his side. Weather like this currently in the year was odd. Despite being five, the few years he could remember was always sunny and bright. Not dark and murky.

Looking back and seeing the parents of Genma arrive and using shadow clone jutsu to shield each kid with a clone and umbrella, Kakashi turned his head back around. Not because he was jealous or lonely, but the simple fact he saw two people staring at him.

Rin Noharu and Obito Uchiha. Both are equally annoying.

The girl was all by herself, likely waiting for her folks to get her. She always tries to talk to him, seemingly captivated by his nature. He honestly doesn't understand why. Girls in general are weird.

And Obito was just a crybaby wimp. He's always tardy, sucks at ninjutsu, and tries to fight him whenever he could. He always loses, so why even bother trying to become a shinobi? And despite his brief look, he saw Obito's fists were clenched up, likely planning to challenge him soon. He can try. It won't end good for him. Literally the face of shame for the infamous Uchiha clan.

**Bang!**

Seeing another lightning bolt, Kakashi's eyes flashed at the spectacle. This storm was unreal. Was this a sign from something that going home perhaps may not be the best option? Today was his father's birthday and gave him strict orders to not immediately come home after school. He will have some important company. But truth be told, Kakashi just wanted to be around his father. To him, he was the greatest ninja to ever step foot on this planet. He was a hero to him. Charismatic, strong, cool, humble, and loving. What more could a boy want? If only mom was here to enjoy this. Too bad Kakashi literally has no memories of her. What was she like? How she sounded, smell, and did things?

It started to rain a bit harder.

* * *

Drawing the umbrella closer to him, Kakashi walked a few miles in the downpour, haunted by what if thoughts. For a five-year-old, he believes he thinks more like a twenty-five-year-old veteran. It was maddening at times. But slowly he came into the Hatake District. Their clan was so small that to even call it a clan was questionable. His father was their brightest star. A beacon of hope to make their clan hold important weight down the line. It was undeniable how incredible Sakumo Hatake is. He helped saved the village, and now the Second Great Ninja War is officially over. Although Kakashi has seen many belittle his father over the months, but Kakashi believes they are just haters or even supporters of the evil villages. Them living in Konoha is disgusting to be frank. A war hero should be praised, not insulted. If only he was old enough to tell those adults off.

Walking before his house, Kakashi's eyes slightly widened since there was no chariots in front of the house. Didn't his father request company today at his hour? Maybe he cancelled it? If so, that means he can spend quality time with his personal hero. A win-win situation.

Taking out a key, he unlocked the front door and stepped inside. He couldn't wait to be with his father any longer.

* * *

The air inside felt stiff. Hot even. Like there was no life inside. It was strange and very unusual. Heck, no candles were lit, making the whole place dark. Only the outside lightning gave the place any illumination.

But he could smell fire, indicating some incense were lit not to long ago. His father was just here, or is he in his room?

"Dad, I'm home."

Hearing no response, Kakashi closed the front door and hanged up his umbrella, scarf, and face mask on a rack by the door. Taking off his shoes, Kakashi walked into the kitchen. Perhaps his dad and friends went to get something to eat. Would make sense, although going anywhere in this weather is kind of insane. But their adults. Let them be.

Now in the kitchen area, Kakashi smelled something putrid. Immediately grabbing his nose, Kakashi heard whimpering. Out from the shadows in the dining room, their sole dog, Haruto, came out. Haruto was a former ninja dog, retired and adopted from the Inuzuka clan after his partner died in the war.

He was shaking, crying even. And he reeked of that smell.

"Hey, you okay buddy. Don't worry, I am here."

Leaning in to pet him, Kakashi stopped upon seeing something strange on his fur.

Blood. And lots of it.

Trepidation gripped Kakashi, knowing something was awfully wrong. He looked at the dining room, eclipsed in shadows. The smell must be coming from there. Along with this unknown blood.

Pulling out a kunai knife from his pocket, Kakashi marched forward slowly in the darkness. Did somebody tried to invade their home and got injured? No mercy for anybody who tries to rob them.

Slowly going forward, Kakashi could barely see an image lying down in the middle of a rug. His feet stepped on a pool of blood, but Kakashi did his best to not make any noise. Was that a dead body? The smell was horrible.

Risking it all, Kakashi pulled out a candle on a nearby counter and lit it up with a traditional lighter. He immediately dropped it as lightning lit up a nearby window.

Haruto barked, nearly overshadowed by the accompanying thunder.

It was his father. Dead. His stomach was ripped open, organs laying about. Despite the flash of light only lasting for a few moments, it felt like an eternity to Kakashi. He became stiff, unable to comprehend what he is seeing. Even Haruto's barking, thunder, or his own heartbeat became impossible to hear. Like all of time stopped for him.

Suddenly realizing he was on his knees deep in blood, Kakashi snapped out of it and crawled to his father. Touching and screaming at him to respond, he was cold to the touch and wet all over. When another lightning flash occurred, Sakumo's eyes were rolled back, already showing signs of flies circling around his corpse. Crying, Kakashi attempted to give Sakumo chakra, but his lack of skill in this department proved futile since he just couldn't do it.

Mind going blank, Kakashi screamed at the top of his lungs, unable to believe this. Drawing at straws, Kakashi attempted to perform a genjutsu release, but nothing happened. Morbidly realizing it wasn't an illusion, but in fact reality, Kakashi hugged his father. He didn't care if he was covered in blood, he just wanted to be there with him.

Not seeing or hearing Haruto going out of the doggy door to catch the attention of passing Hatake members, Kakashi continued to hug Sakumo until his mind went blank.

He passed out, his youth and innocence dying at that moment. He was now alone, forced to bear the weight of pain unlike anything he has ever felt.

His father, the legendary White Fang, is deceased.


End file.
